Often, kindness is mistaken for a lack of boundaries, for being a pushover, and yes sometimes when you are naturally a kind person or when you embark on a life of kindness you can end up in situations where you feel taken advantage of or where your feelings and needs have not been considered. I have definitely been there myself. This is why loving oneself first is so important. Dedicating yourself to mettā towards self first and then outwardly is synonymous with setting and standing by your boundaries.

Forgiveness can be a subject that causes strong reactions; if you are someone who feels very strongly that some acts, some people, do not deserve forgiveness, ask yourself whether you feel that people have been unfair to you, that there were instances where someone else’s actions have harmed you and your immediate world. Most of us have been hurt or treated unfairly at some point, in fact some evolutionary psychologists would argue that we’re wired to see ourselves as the injured party almost always. Whether we actually were treated unfairly or whether it’s our own construct is irrelevant, the feeling that remains is the same, the belief is created, the trigger is created and the reactions occur.

Literally, it’s just a thought. Possibly the single most effective practice for living a happy life is training yourself to stop giving your thoughts so much power. The current term is mindfulness but the concept has been around a long time, it is one of the main Buddhist philosophies taught by the Buddha to reach enlightenment.

A good starting point for your meditation practice is a breath focused meditation. Breath work or Prānāyāmā has many benefits; as well as creating a focus to help you slide into your meditative state, particular breathing techniques can help to reduce anxiety, stress and tension and help to flood the body with energy and blissful feelings.

I wanted to write a little bit today about mettā and try to give you an idea of what it is and hopefully try to articulate how it feels. I would love for some of my readers to feel encouraged to begin cultivating mettā in their lives and there are two reasons for this, the first is that I believe it is beneficial to all beings for us to live practicing loving kindness and the second is that my own loving kindness wishes this sense of peace and happiness within for you all.